Comfort Zones: Why This Introvert is Getting Out of Hers

The first thing I’m going to share on this blog is this: I’m an introvert. More than that, I’m a shy introvert. This means that not only do I recharge with alone time (or as alone as it gets when you have kids), but that I struggle when it comes to talking to people I don’t know. I also hate crowds, at least if I’m alone.

And it’s because I’m a shy introvert that I’m doing what I’m doing here.

Comfort Zones Are Comfortable – But That’s It

They’re called comfort zones for a reason. We get comfortable in them. We can sit back and relax. We know what to expect. Things are familiar and easy.

But familiar and easy doesn’t get things done. It doesn’t help you move forward or learn new things. It makes you stagnant.

There’s No Freedom in a Comfort Zone

The thing about comfort zones is, despite how nice they feel, they’re really more like prisons. When you lock yourself into a comfort zone, doing only what feels familiar and comfortable, you lock out the freedom to explore and try new things.

Routines are fine – the kids and I have movie night every Sunday night, with few exceptions. Schedules are good.

But spontaneity is also good. It can spark creativity and imagination. It makes you feel free, fun, and full of life.

It opens up doors you didn’t even know existed.

Every Time I’ve Left My Comfort Zone, It’s Been Worth It

Okay, so maybe claiming it’s been worth it every time is a stretch. But the big stuff? The important times? Totally worth it.

I’m talking about things like:

  1. Online dating. The idea of using a website to find a partner was really uncomfortable to me a few years ago. But I tried it, and I met my boyfriend. We actually didn’t start dating right away but ended up becoming friends for the next eight years before we got together. But if I hadn’t created that dating profile, I never would have met him. And missing out on my soulmate and the man of my dreams would truly have been the biggest tragedy of my life.
  2. Starting my own business. Accounting? I suck at math. Talking to strangers to get clients? I want to throw up at the thought. But I do it all anyway. Why? Because it allows me to earn an income while still being here for the kids and homeschooling. It also lets me set my own hours, decide my own vacations, and work from wherever I want.
  3. Meeting one of my dearest friends. One of the most amazing women I know, I only met because I got out of my comfort zone. I went to a homeschooling event that I knew was going to be full of strangers, despite feeling full of dread at the thought. Because I went, I got into a conversation with her. That conversation led to a friendship that blossomed over the next few years. Today, I consider her a close friend, trusted confidant, and even have a business relationship with her.
  4. Leaving my first marriage. My ex-husband and I had a bad relationship. A really incredibly awful relationship. But it was comfortable because despite how bad it was, I knew what to expect. Staying would have been easier, especially since I was six months pregnant when I decided to end it. I had no job, no income, and no potential for either, considering my pregnant state. But doing so allowed me to go back to school (for a phlebotomy certificate), rebuild my confidence, raise my kids in a healthy and happy home, and eventually find the real love of my life.

So I’m Leaving My Comfort Zone Again

Photo Credit: Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash.com

 

Starting this blog is another comfort zone left behind. Putting myself out there, sharing things I’ve learned and asking for advice and suggestions from others, is a huge step for me. There are some things that won’t be shared here, like details about my current relationship or information about our kids. But I will sometimes talk about previous relationships, always from my perspective and with the understanding that my former partners may have seen things differently. I’ll also talk about my thoughts on parenting, and being a solo parent, in particular.

I hope you’ll stick around and enjoy my ramblings. Maybe you’ll even talk to me now and then in the comments. Keep me outside my comfort zone, so I don’t stagnate, you know?

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